Horses vs Whore. March 1st, Noon SLT. Watch it!!!!

Want to see Horses wrestle?
Hop along to the SLCW Arena on the 1st March. The event starts at noon SLT.
I'm up against Moppy again. Watch me beat the whore to pieces.
Come down, watch the wrestlers, boo other wrestlers and give Moppy hell! I know my growing fan club would love to see Priscilla Mopp being battered to little moppy pieces. Don' miss out on the chance to see a pathetic bin-whore get put in her place. She does look a little like a mop too.
The Monster is on the show too, he is great!

f**kin' in the bushes

In between lag and memory dumps, Second Life can be quite the entertaining place. It was once hyped to me as a place where you can do pretty much anything you can in RL, your imagination is the only boundary, etc, etc. Now we all know that is rubbish as there are plenty of things in RL that you cannot do in SL. Likewise though, there are plenty of things in SL you cannot do in RL - Fly, Teleport, ride cars on the pavement and prostitution are the main ones that come into my mind.

Another thing that RL fails in where SL succeeds is its possible to buy some land and a house for less than 10 years wages. When it comes to fitting out your house there are plenty of freebies available, or you can pay a few lindens for something slightly more unique.

Let me get to the point here. I'm not going all deep into the rights and wrongs of UK property prices, or the cost of living in developed countries. No, my point is to show off a funky shower I bought.

If sex can be associated with it, then you'll find a sexed version in SL. Sex Table, Sex Piano, Sex chair, Sex Car, Sex toilet!! I guess some peoples FLs are quite lonely so they use their SL to create items they wish they could use in RL. My shower looks really funky, but predictably its also sexed up to the mildew with dirty animations. As with all dirty objects, you have a little play about with it and have a laugh at the positions. The first time i played with a sex bed I couldn't stop laughing. My shower was simpler though. It was simple, hugging poses, sex poses and oral poses. Not much imagination, but this is a shower after all and injuries can happen in wet areas (the floor!!!).

What use is a sex shower without someone to share it with? Not much use really! I showed friends when giving them a guided tour of the house, but I just showed them the shower working as a shower. I had to try my shower out with another person!! Cue "Nude". "Nude" was a friend I'd met somewhere in SL - i forget exactly where - and we'd been to a house party the night before where we all got a little carried away. We'd already seen each 'others', so what harm becoming casual f**k buddies for when one of us buys something filthy.

Being evil, rather than asking "Nude" if he wanted to **** in the shower, I just teleported him to my bathroom as I was in the shower getting clean. Like most men, he didn't need much convincing to jump in.

And so "Battle commenced". The shower was fantastic! It was great for a giggle, but I imagine if you were deeply in SL love then you could possibly share a romantic session with someone else as millions of pixels form into a virtual reality blow job. The thought of having a virtual honeymoon on some SL romantic island before retiring to the bedroom for several hours poseball abuse just makes me want to get married. Actually, no it doesn't!

Blob over to the Isle of Horses, break into my house and you'll find the bathroom on the top floor. There is no toilet, so if you want a #1 or #2 you have to go in the sea - ideally so it drifts away from the land. The shower and all its wetness is there though. If I catch anyone using it without me being in there then i'll call the Ghostbusters.

Here, for your perversion and my exhibitionism, are photos of myself and "nude" testing my shower. These are printed with his permission... actually that isn't true, I had his permission to post a much worse photo from the night before, so he's getting off lightly here :)





I do feel the need to add that apart from a few moments when the second photograph was taken, the curtains were closed throughout! I think the entire scene looks rather romantic as well. Sure, you haven't seen the other more graphic photos of us, but in the right lighting its a love making shower, not just a sex shower. The same cannot be said for most SL sex items.

Horses vs Mopp - Live Wrestling!!!

Oh-What-a-Rush!

My limited wrestling knowledge ventures as far as the Legion of Doom (AKA The Road Warriors). I remember their music before they came out, it went something like "Ohhh What a rush!". I think they were good guys because they always seemed to be popular with the fans. To get to a point though, the phrase "What a Rush" sums up my first ever live wrestling event!

I've rarely been so nervous! This was SL and there I was absolutely bobbing my pants! I had ponys running around my belly! This was Second Life and I was more nervous than performing in RL! Would my connection die? Would the lag kill me? Would I just mess up a move? I was asking all those questions before. I masked it the best I could. Before the match I said to my opponent, Priscilla Mopp, that we'd steal the show and everything would be great. I'd be fibbing if i said i truly believed that would be the case, but compared to a few hours before when we were total strangers, i felt there was a chance it could happen.

The start wasn't quite to script, but was okay. Everything went okay after that - apart from my trash talking - and then I messed up! The ending was Mopp would jump off the top rope for me and i'd move. We had practised it perfectly before. Sadly I managed to mess it up! First of all when i tried to move I didn't. Why? Because i'd sent an IM to her before and forgot to put the focus back on the world screen. She did another splash, i was very close to the corner and tried to move towards it - text book - Apart from there wasn't room and she hit me still. Third time lucky? She jumped from the top again, I moved out of the way successfully and she hit the floor. I then got up, DDT and pin for the win! We got away with it in a sense. But in another sense i managed to take 2 evil looking splashes, but still moved out of the way of a third and then won the match! That's just pushing the boundaries of reality a little far. It was my fault, but we kept on going and the DDT looked pretty nasty so the pin was convincing.

From scared and nervous before and during, afterwards was a total buzz. We'd managed it!!! Sure it wasn't amazing, but it didn't stink either! Lots to improve on but it could have been so much worse! I owe most of the good things to my opponent, Priscilla. She was outstanding! Thank you so much! Here's to more battles down the line. Thanks to the people there who provided a good turnout as well. I counted at least 25 people, which considering there was hardly any promotion of the event, is pretty good.

I should be wrestling again on the 2nd March. Landmark and confirmation to follow! That event is a big one so the crowd will be bigger! Can I continue my reign of neigh's over the female division of SLW?!?! You must turn up to see!

I didn't get any photos of our match - was slightly distracted - but I'll find if anyone else did. If so, i'll put them up here.

Horses Morrisey - Undefeated!

I've visited here in RL and its so much better than its 'prim' cousin!

Oh buggery bugger! I think we've all screamed something like that when we've been crammed onto a Japanese train or you've been wandering around Berlin and you realise that you've left your favourite hat on the bus. Travelling has its downside and that lack of space or losing your favourite hat could indeed ruin your holiday. Although you'd be a bit weird if you let it.

Now, we've all wandered aimlessly around Second Life, a little like a drunk who is looking for a stool to sit on would. It can get rather boring at times as you see the same-old type place, but with different faces and varying degrees of lag. I've spent hours wandering and logged off thinking "Well, that was boring". Well be bored no more! Step forward the folk who are recreating towns, cities and other Real World places, into LagLife. Ranging from fantastic to "This is supposed to be where?" it can certainly be more fun doing a wild tour of RealLife places than going to The Zany Funky Club, or whatever tonights dance hall is called.

Until some idiot decides image rights on buildings and towns belong to someone else and thus sues the pixels out of virtual people, it looks like the Real World in the Virtual World, will only grow. Indeed i'm thinking of building my own SL version of Eccles in Manchester (Well, actually in Salford). I don't live there myself but when I have passed through its always struck me as being a crap place. People don't visit Eccles in RL so why visit in SL? Perhaps the crime rate will be lower, but will the trackies and hoodies brigade be any less pregnant or intimidating?

SL airbrushes RL places like Esquire Magazine airbrushes a celebrity's tits. I visited a SL Liverpool and didn't get mugged once! I loved what they built, it was pretty nice and it really tried to take all Liverpool's culture and put in on a Class 5 server with little lag, but to totally exclude any tracksuit wearing 'yoof is spoiling things. I want to visit SL London and get stuck in a traffic jam. I want to visit SL Paris and get insulted by various French people. A SL Costa del Sol would be great so long as the beach is packed with British lobsters. I visited SL London, and to be fair the tube system on it didn't work properly (Although it was pretty ace) but everything else was too holiday brochure style. You could also buy land and not have to sell a Kidney to afford the mortgage payments. Tube problems aside, that's not the London I know and somewhat despise.

My favourite of all was SL Manchester as there was nothing there. They'd tried to build Modern Manchester, and SL had displayed a truth that many virtual city builders may soon realise... there's bugger all in substance the RL city they're replicating. Whereas some places make the interesting seem almost perfect, there are others that will realise that their place just doesn't have any charm or anything that outsiders may find interesting. SL cities certainly cut through a lot of the RL hype and bragging. Now, i'm not saying that RL Manchester is rubbish, just the architects of the SL Manchester have clearly forgotten the city's charm. Instead of centring their Virtual city on the Real city's industrial history, science, media and musical achievements, they instead picked out shiny 'new' buildings and tried to convert them into prims. I guess its supposed to impress people, but quite honestly, those buildings are in every developed town around the Real World so why would I visit it in SL?

In fairness; you can visit The Hacienda in another part of SL. The Hacienda being a former nightclub and certainly something the SL Manchester should have had at its heart. Back to SL Manchester and I have to ask, Where was the area recording the citys place in the world-wide cotton Industry? The Manchester Ship Canal? The kickin' indie music scene, the sporting history and even Coronation Street! With the right angle, every town in Europe could probably build a great SL area about itself. It just has to rip away the current 'highstreet' look of most towns and think "What makes this place great?". Even the crappiest of towns - yes, this includes Eccles - can fill a few thousand sq. metres with information, entertainment and fun... or you could visit SL Random Town and have a drink in a Random nightclub that has a picture of a local celebrity on the wall. I know what i'd rather do... What? Barton Aerodrome in Eccles was the original location of Mancehster's Airport and is the home of the UK's first airport control tower! Wow!! Can i walk around it?

Hair or Bald? The results are here...

The head shaving results are in and... The hair stays!

A barn storming 3 (three) people voted in this most important of polls, and the vote for keeping my hair was unanimous. Each of those 3 (three) wonderful people who voted, wanted my hair to stay on my head. Thank you, all!

To celebrate, how about some photos of the guaranteed "haired" Horses Morrisey.

Horses - The Wrestler!

I've got a new passtime in SL. I wanted to do something different, something i'd never do in RL. Well, I was wandering around SL - as you do - and I found Wrestling groups!

First was a 'fighting' group just for ladies. They did Kung-Fu (Looks very good!), Boxing and Wrestling. I didn't fancy the Kung Fu so I settled for wrestling. I remember watching Wrestling on the telly when I was younger and i'll openly admit that I could quite happily watch wrestling on the telly - if i caught it on - until about 3 years ago when the shows got a bit rubbish. When I say wrestling I am of course referring to WWF/WWE or whatever its called now. If I did try to watch it now I just find myself getting bored. I did watch TNA on Bravo in the UK and that was awful! In fact, the best wrestling shows i've seen on the telly recently are the smaller ones on The Wrestling Channel.

Back to SL. I'm now a wrestler! I'm a member of 2 groups and my first ever show should be on the 29th February. I don't know what part i'm playing in the show, but i'm sure it'll be ace! Once I know more i'll tell you all and give you a landmark to see Horses' wrestle.

Now I just need to come up with a name and gimmick! Any suggestions will be gratefully received.

New Poll: Should Horses go bald?

It is time for a new poll, more than 2 votes this time please!

After my hair problems (Lag caused Baldness, read earlier entry) I found I quite liked the egg-head look. Deep down I think i'd have got fed up of being bald after half an hour, but whilst I was lagging it looked fine.

After this brush with baldness I contemplated getting a skin-head but I couldn't make my mind up. So I thought "Why not let someone else decide!" and as a consequence my new poll is born. Quite simply, you can vote on if i lose my hair or not! I fully expect lots of evil people to vote me bald (So long as more people vote this time!) so i'm prepared for that... but seriously consider if bald is the way. My many colours of hair are posted about on the blog so you'll get an idea of if this will be an improvement.

The poll is open for 9 days and I promise i'll stick by the result! If you decide that egg-head is the way then i'll post the resulting hair-cut on here, and you'll all be welcome to come see me yourself and make fun of me in virtual person. As a part of the deal, If you choose me to be bald then I will keep the look for a minimum of 2 weeks. No sneaky putting hair back on, i'll be bald for at least 2 weeks, and if i'm caught breaking it i'll be bald for 2 months. (I will allow myself to test our haircuts though, but they can't be on for longer than a couple of minutes).

Right, so the poll is open. Its on the right-hand side of the page. Go vote for me to keep my hair :D

A house update!

House Update...

My BEACHY STYLE house is coming on. It looks a bit bobbins, but its a first effort. Its styled on a barn/stable but fits on a beach. Pictures will appear as soon as it looks passable, until then you might be able to visit by searching for "Isle of Horses".

I feel I did approach this building project in the correct way. I drew a floor plan first, and kept to that. I've now realised that my one room is way to small. What can I do? Start from scratch, increase the size or build an extension? Decisions, Decisions!

Horses

Where's my hair gone?!?!?!

I hate LAG!!! There I was, dancing the night away and my hair vanishes! As it happened, I quite liked the bald look and might look at doing a permanent chopping of my hair :) but right then I didn't want to be bald. To (almost) quote The Stone Roses, i wanted to be adored... for my lovely red hair! I don't actually recall The Stone Roses mentioning red hair in their song, but if they had the song would have been much better. Not that it was a bad song, but "I wanna be adored... for my red hair, for my red hair, for my red hair. I wanna I wanna I wanna be adored. I wanna I wanna I wanna be adored. I wanna I-wanna I-wanna be adored. I wanna I wanna I got to be adored." would have sounded better.

That's it :)

Horses.