OMG OMG OMG. Nanny Gothly just returned to SL!!! I'm like a kid on Christmas Day!!!
Sunday, 1 August 2010
SL Wrestling Legend makes surprise return!!! (And I ruined everything by wrestling her)
Saturday, 31 July 2010
My hair is back
Deal with my this smelly haters. After several difficult weeks my hair has finally grown back. A wonderful growth spurt turned me from amazing Horses to amazing Horses with hair. I may or may not have used Science to help encourage the growth spurt. Science is cool.
Neigh-ed by
Horses Morrisey
at
20:41
0
snorts
Labels: hair match, metaverse, second life, sl, wrestling










Friday, 16 July 2010
A lecture: The hard work that goes into planning a SL wrestling storyline
After 2 months of staying away from it, I've finally decided to watch my match on the VWE Overdrive FPV against Elisa Riddler. What should have been an amazing night for me is still tinged with frustration.
Ideas of how the proposed Hair vs Valet angle could pan out.I've put lots of ideas down and split them into parts. There could be more than 1 part on one show, and of course they're just ideas. We could go with some of them or none at all.Part 1. (Completed)Horses & Ely are involved in a match where Horses injures Ely by temporarily blinding her with some hairspray.Part 2.After a match, Horses cuts promo. She's moaning about bombshells as usual and saying that as she beat two of the finest female wrestlers last week, she had no intention of wrestling against the "bimbo" they'd asked her to wrestle but she was forced too. But she's going to tell them all a story... Ely interrupts. She beats Horses up. Horses manages to escape before she can take a bad beating. Ely gets face pops in the ring.Ely is in the ring saying that Horses has no respect, calls her names, etc etc and challenges Horses to get back in the ring. From outside the ring, Horses say's she doesn't have any respect for Ely and she won't wrestle her because she's half-blind and Horses doesn't believe in fighting against the disabled. Horses leaves.Part 4.Ely wrestles a match and wins. Horses attacks her after the match. She cuts a very short promo about why she attacked Ely. She says she's decided to stop talking and start acting.Part 5.Horses wrestles a match. She's does some moves that result in the other wrestler being cornersat. She goes and attaches her hairspray and says she's not interested in wins, nobody takes any notice of them, instead she's going to send out the loudest action she can by taking someones eyes. She goes to spray her in the face but Ely runs down for the save. She punches horses a little. Horses makes a cowards escape before she can get beaten up. She sprays her hairspray into the air and mocks Ely from the ramp.Part 6. STUNT GRANNY.Horses in match/promo. End result is Horses' spraying her hairspray into a stunt granny's (plants) face who is ringside.Part 7.Ely promo (maybe after match). She say's that Horses' blinding that fan/stunt granny was disgusting. She doesn't understand how she didn't get fired. Maybe she can accuse horses of bribing the stunt granny so she wouldn't press charges against XWA. She also announces that (an authority figure) has decided that this feud needs to be settled and the only way of doing that is by them two of them wrestling.Horses comes out. She says she'd be delighted to wrestle Ely but she's not going to because it's not worth her time. She has higher targets than beating "some blind whore who is only talented enough to be a valet and has no place in a wrestling ring". She agrees that the feud needs to end and says she's willing to draw a line underneath it all. She'll forgive Ely for all the bad things she's done. Horses says she's had a ceasefire agreement drawn up which promises that, if Ely stops being so pathetic then she'll stop blinding idiots. She says she's already signed it and says all Ely has to do is sign it and it'll be legally binding. She hands Ely the contract/ceasefire agreement (which is on a clip board). Ely could fake she's about to sign it before hitting Horses with it. Horses escapes the ring. Ely shouts a challenge to Horses.Part 8.Horses (with security guards) comes to the ring and announces that what Ely did to her last week was the actions of a coward. Horses brought solutions to the table and Ely spat on them. A wrestling match was never the solution. Horses has had a million wrestling matches and afterwards she still wanted to kill the woman she's just beaten. Wrestling Ely would just increase the hatred Horses' has for her, afterall Ely is just a pathetic valet. Their disagreement needed a contractual ending that suits both parties and she says the ceasefire was that. She offers the contract again.Ely comes to the ring but stands outside. She calls Horses a coward, a bully and a wrestler who only gets booked because she's living off former glories. She says Horses hasn't done anything for 2 years apart from moan and sell haircare products. Horses goes on some rant about her history (zzzz) and calls Ely a valet again. She goes on to say Ely is a poor valet at that. She says that her psychiatrist suggested she get herself a valet to take her frustrations out on. Horses says she was going to ask Ely if she's be her temper valet but realised she'd be too shit at it. Ely trys to get to Horses but security guards stop her.Part 9.Ely cuts a promo where she announces she has her own solution and a contract of her own. She says she wants to shut Horses up so badly she'd be willing to become her valet if she loses in a match against her. Horses comes to the ring carrying the hairspray. She says the idea of having Ely as her valet is tempting, but she has wasted enough time with her already so she's going to just finish her career now by completing the job she almost did several weeks earlier. She goes to spray her but Ely beats her to the punch. Locks her in a hold somehow and grabs the hairspray. She says she'll blind Horses right now if she doesn't sign the contract. After some arguing Horses signs to a match where if she wins, Ely will become her valet.Part 10.Ely shows off the contract. Announces the contract says she could pick any date for the contract and she picks right now. Horses comes down to the ring and says she isn't ready to wrestle. Ely tells her to stop moaning and get in the ring. She points out the contract says she has too, if she doesn't the consequences could be bad for Horses. Horses says she doesn't care and walks off.Part 11.Horses takes part in a regular match. Afterwards Ely comes down. She tells Horses that she was warned there would be consequences to her breaking their match contract, she'd been speaking with XWA management all week and together they've found a solution. Horses will be fired and black-balled from every wrestling organisation in the metaverses, she'll also be sued by XWA for breach of match agreement if she doesn't wrestle Ely.Horses shrugs and says she'll wrestle her. Big deal, etc. Ely then announces that the consequence is that she gets to pick the stipulation for the match. Ely teases hardcore matches, ladder matches, bra and panties matches, etc before saying she hates Horses so much she wants to live on the edge as it'll mean she'll never get complacent. So she wants to keep the stipulation that if she loses that means she'll be Horses valet for 6 weeks. BUT if Horses loses she wants something of hers. The obvious choice would be her hairspray because thats what she does her damage with - but her being a valet against a hairspray can isn't really a fair bet. So she kept on thinking and realised that if Horses doesn't have any hair, she won't need any hairspray. She announces that their match will be a no-dq match. Valet Career vs Hair match. If Horses wins then Ely will valet her for 6 weeks. If Ely wins then she gets to shave Horses bald. Horses flips out. Says no way. Ely points out she doesn't have an option. The contract has already been agreed. The only thing she can do is walk away from XWA but then she'll never wrestle again and get sued. Ely leaves. Horses cries.Part 12.Horses cuts a promo building up the match but says the stipulation is nothing short of an assault. She's been away thinking of possible alternative stipulations. Since Ely was nearly blinded she suggests a blindfold match as it'd give Ely an advantage as may make the match more even. Horses gets cut off by Ely who says the match is written in stone. There is no changing it. If Horses doesn't show up then her Second Life is all but finished.Ely has her match. Horses watches from ringside. Before the finish Horses comes into the ring and beats up Ely. Ely turns things around and puts Horses in a sleeper. Ely asks the crowd if they'd like to see Horses' new haircut start tonight. Crowd should say yes :) Ely gets some clippers but before she can cut her hair a guy comes down and knocks Ely down. The two of them write "horses' valet" or another slur on Ely.Part 14.Horses introduces the guy who saved her last week to the crowd. She says she's hired herself a personal bodyguard who will do anything for Horses. He'll take a bullet for horses... he'll even lose his hair for Horses. Horses says she's been negotiating with XWA officials all week and she's on the verge of having the stipulation changed so if she loses - which she won't - her bodyguard will lose his hair.Ely has her match. Horses & Bodyguard sit ringside. Horses goes to spray Ely in the face with her hairspray but she moves and the bodyguard gets it instead. Horses runs off. Ely cuts the bodyguards hair off and tells horses that her insurance policy doesn't have any hair to lose now and she'll see her for their match.Part 16.Horses & Bodyguard are in the ring. Horses says Ely is going to get fired for what she did to the bodyguard. Ely stands on the ramp and says she isn't, etc. Horses then cuts a promo saying she is more disgusted in her useless bodyguard though, so she's demoted him from bodyguard to valet and since Ely is here she can see an example of what it'll be like when shes Horses valet for 6 weeks. Horses humilates the bodyguard by making him do tricks like a dog would and say stuff that insults himself and praises Horses. Ely laughs at Horses and says she should stop worrying about her hair and start worrying about the match.The Match.A normal no-dq match. Spots could induce Horses hitting Ely with the hairspray can and several near falls for both. Ely wins clean and Horses gets her head shaved.Aftermath.Horses wears lots of silly hats and maybe some wigs. In a series of matches Ely can pull them off. etc.
Friday, 11 June 2010
Horses loses Hair in tragic wrestling stipulation. Citizens of the Metaverse express delight

Sunday, 11 April 2010
People are stupid
Let's cut to the facts. I spend lots of time in a virtual world, most people would therefore assume i'm an anti-social geek who cannot interact with people in a natural environment. I'd like to say that's bullshit, but it's probably got more than a little bit of truth to it.
Despite this, I maintain that people are stupid. In RL it's just people in general. In SL it is the griefers. Those annoying little fuckers who you just want to smash through 17,000 sims until their shitty noob skin melts.
Other examples of SL cunts are people who do insist on talking too much. Great, you're as socially alienated as I am, You don't need to spew your mind-vomit onto me though. I really don't care if you think the EU is a "sack of shit". Talk to me about stuff that doesn't have your fucking meaningless opinion at its heart. Yes, that's right! Your opinion means SHIT. If I want to hear about shit i'll listen to some crappy radio station like TalkSport.
Back in the RL it's Election time in Britain. This means every political cunt in the world is knocking on my door asking if i'll vote for their party. I have this game I play, it's called "Ask them a stupid question, try and get them to answer 'YES' and then promise you'll vote for them once you validate the answer via their website or the BBC". It's a real fun game. I asked my local Tory Boy if his party would add Dr Who? Studies to the national curriculum. He never said YES, but he didn't say NO either. When the Labour dicks come around I'm going to batter them over the Kraft takeover of Cadbury.
Back in SL it's time to wind down a little. Things are too complicated, so let's make things simpler. Let's also make things cheaper too because my bank balance is aching.
Behind the curtain
Wrestler A wants to wrestle Wrestler B. Wrestler C wants to wrestle Wrestler A and Wrestler B at the same time. Wrestler B doesn't want to wrestle Wrestler C. Wrestler A is more than happy to wrestle Wrestler C.
Wrestler C is the champion. He wants to beat Wrestler A and Wrestler B in the same match. Wrestler B doesn't want to lose to Wrestler C because he doesn't like him personally or professionally. Wrestler A is too busy chatting up Female Wrestler A to be bothered at the moment.
Wrestler D is hardly ever around, but he's a good friend of Wrestler E who is also the boss. Wrestler F doesn't care anymore. So Wrestler E books Wrestler D to destroy Wrestler F at the big main event show.
Wrestler D beats Wrestler F. Wrestler D leaves before finishing the whole story. Wrestler D won't return for 4 weeks. Wrestler F looks weak.
Wrestler C left to wrestle somewhere else where he can beat everyone. Wrestler A is going to be a daddy.
This is wrestling, yeah? Well sometimes, maybe, probably not.
Friday, 26 February 2010
A late valentines from Horses
Here's a valentines day poem for you all - and for one special person in particular ;)
Roses are red, Gypsies stole my collection of 1970's disco hits.
If you let me squeeze your bum, you can squeeze my... cheeks.
Love, Horses.
xxxxxxxx
Wednesday, 13 January 2010
A Horsey Wrestling Career Update
Yay to capitalisation.
How's about a quickie update on my WONDERFUL Second Life Wrestling Career.
UPDATED
MWA - Failed.
HKWF - Job-a-roonie but Fun.
HAWX - LOL but a Second Chance... Who knows what'll happen!
XWA - Too early to say
So why don't you retire, Whorses? I don't hear you say. Well it's simple, that'd be too easy!
To stop anyone getting upset. Those comments aren't my opinions on those federations. It's how I performed in them.
I'll update this as things go from bad to worse.
Peace + Fuckin'
H.