A story appeared in a Metaverse tabloid during the week about a supposed lap dance I gave to a beach life guard. Here's the article taken from The Daily SLUN (A terrible tabloid newspaper)
Metaverse Wrestling Megastar Horses Morrisey was last night defending her reputation after she was snapped lap dancing for a bum Life Guard.
Morrisey - Real name: Donkey McHaggis - has only recently been released from HAWX funded drug rehabilitation, and had been understood to have made good progress. She'd even nearly beaten Louve McMahon once or twice.
These shocking SNAPS in today's Daily SLUN will be a huge blow to all of her fans who'd been supporting her recent comeback.
Metaverse Wrestling Superstar Horses Morrisey "Entertaining" in a different way
When we asked for comments, Miss Morrisey replied "Life Guard? Lap dancing? I know maybe one or two Life Guards and but i've never lap danced for them". When asked if she has lap danced for anyone recently and maybe she never realised he was a Lifeguard, she replied "No. Lap dancers are scum. Now get off my property".
I'm angry, fans. Firstly, "Shame of Lap Dancing Wrestler"! Get Lost. I'm jobbing to Lap Dancers most weeks. Also, my real name... Donna-Quay McHaragee. And the Quay is pronounced Quoi (like Pourquoi). Also, the entire story is made up. I only met him to discuss plans for New Year and we never drank any alcohol.
Oh.
Life Guard reveals all...
Metaverse Wrestling Superstar can drink 3 bottles of champaign an hour.
Metaverse Wrestling Superstar jokes about her drug use.
Metaverse Wrestling Superstar gave 11 lap dances in one evening.
See the Life Guard's uncensored pictures of the 11 lap dances behind The Daily SLUN's Paywall! Subscribe now. Just $L4500 Per Month.
The.... AGGHHHHH!