Friday, 30 December 2011

Shame of Lap dancing Metaverse Wrestler

A story appeared in a Metaverse tabloid during the week about a supposed lap dance I gave to a beach life guard. Here's the article taken from The Daily SLUN (A terrible tabloid newspaper)


Metaverse Wrestling Megastar Horses Morrisey was last night defending her reputation after she was snapped lap dancing for a bum Life Guard.

Morrisey - Real name: Donkey McHaggis - has only recently been released from HAWX funded drug rehabilitation, and had been understood to have made good progress. She'd even nearly beaten Louve McMahon once or twice.

These shocking SNAPS in today's Daily SLUN will be a huge blow to all of her fans who'd been supporting her recent comeback.


Metaverse Wrestling Superstar Horses Morrisey "Entertaining" in a different way

When we asked for comments, Miss Morrisey replied "Life Guard? Lap dancing? I know maybe one or two Life Guards and but i've never lap danced for them". When asked if she has lap danced for anyone recently and maybe she never realised he was a Lifeguard, she replied "No. Lap dancers are scum. Now get off my property".

I'm angry, fans. Firstly, "Shame of Lap Dancing Wrestler"! Get Lost. I'm jobbing to Lap Dancers most weeks. Also, my real name... Donna-Quay McHaragee. And the Quay is pronounced Quoi (like Pourquoi). Also, the entire story is made up. I only met him to discuss plans for New Year and we never drank any alcohol.

Oh.


Life Guard reveals all...
Metaverse Wrestling Superstar can drink 3 bottles of champaign an hour.
Metaverse Wrestling Superstar jokes about her drug use.
Metaverse Wrestling Superstar gave 11 lap dances in one evening.

See the Life Guard's uncensored pictures of the 11 lap dances behind The Daily SLUN's Paywall! Subscribe now. Just $L4500 Per Month.


The.... AGGHHHHH!

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

HAWX return "a massive triumph" only out-triumphed by the new Book launch

It is true. I made my return to HAWX last weekend.
I was released by HAWX earlier in the year for many reasons. This past weekend I made my successful return! When I say successful... I lost. But I won because I was only there to sell a Book. I sold loads!! It's called Horses on Horses and it's all about my time before I was a wrestler. It's really great and everyone should buy it today.

My Brilliant New Book
Now I only lost because my opponent Tiesa - who is a cheat - hit me with the brilliant book. I'd be angry, but it's such a brilliant book, it was actually a privilege to be knocked clean out by it. Although I do still expect HAWX to fine Tiesa for it and to get an apology from her, or just maybe a positive review of the book. Not that it needs any extra positive reviews because it is excellent. Lots of feedback so far says so.

So yes, that's my successful return to HAWX. A new book out just in time for idiots to buy at Christmas and it's good, so buy it from all book stores in SL that sell my books. It costs whatever  they're charging for it. I'm very fair in my pricing, but some bookstore keepers are unscrupulous bastards. I'm a huge supporter of Online bookstores and if I had my way i'd close high street bookstores tomorrow. Thieves the lot of them. SL is no different. Their markup is as fanciful as their social life... and mine. Alas. Horses on Horses. Hardback at Christmas. Paperback for Easter.

Sunday, 4 December 2011

I have a message for Nanny

Blizzard is over. Nanny successfully retained her DCWF Women's Championship. I was so close to winning the match and becoming Champion again.

Nanny thought she had won. She never knew I was still in the match. As I held onto the roof of the chamber to edge myself closer to her, I could see myself with the Championship. It's been nearly 4 years now since I won the Championship - That is too long.

As I pushed myself off the edge of the pod with my feet and moonsaulted down onto Nanny, crushing her onto the mat, I was the Champion. Right then I was the DCWF Womens Champion.  The only thing that could stop me was time. Could I pin her in time? I swear I got up from that canvas and pinned her 1,2,3 at least twice before I finally moved. That delay is why I'm not sat here as Horses Morrisey - DCWF Women's Champion.

I'm not old and past it. These prims aren't too old to pick myself off the canvas to pin the champion. At Blizzard I lacked something i've lacked for the past 3 and a half years. I lacked career effort. I lacked focus. I lacked a target. I was still Lazy Horses. Sure I wanted the Championship, but Nanny WANTED the Championship. Someone who merely wants the Championship formulates a plan that involves hiding on a pod and striking at the end trying to win by surprise. Whereas someone who WANTS the Championship trains every day, fights every day and stays in the Ring, fighting every challenger.

Nanny, Congratulations on your successful defence at Blizzard. I really mean that. Had I won i'd have continued as Lazy Horses and probably lost it on Warzone. When you nearly killed me with a Voodoo Drop off the pod you changed me. You made me see I need to change if I WANT to be a Champion in DCWF. Thank you. I really mean that.

Nanny, I am not leaving your life. This is just the beginning.

Sunday, 27 November 2011

Shit Gimmick Match - Flooded Kitchen Hell Sidney Bear on a pole match

Stips = Traffic.
Remember
Stips = Traffic

Fire + Water + Not a basic ring + Not a pin fall + Foreign object = Lots of Traffic.
LOOK at the Photos and be amazed.

And we're ready for action here

Horses lands a punch (I think)

A devastating kick by Horses!

Both girls are up, fighting for the Sidney Bear

And it's Horses with the Dropkick, sending her opponent into the hell and water below.

Horses retrieves the Sidney Bear as her opponent suffers defeat.
Traffic. Absolute Traffic. Can you feel the boom period for Second Life just around the corner? No longer will this land of lag be overran with weirdos. No, this will be the catalyst for... no it won't.

Saturday, 26 November 2011

Paper Champion

Here's a short story on how I think it might work.

Horses and Paper Horses lock up

Lovely drop kick sends Paper Horses to the outside

Nasty Piledriver by Horses to Paper Horses

And a Legdrop by Horses...

Horses goes for the cover on Paper Horses. She only gets a 2 count. The referee gets an ear full of abuse.

Oh Horses took her eye off Paper Horses and Paper Horses attacks her with her massive head

Paper Horses straight up to the top turn buckle.

A flying splash by Paper Horses, crushing Horses and landing in a pinning position. 1.2.3. Paper Horses wins and retains her title.

Here is your winner. Paper Horses, the Paper Champion.
There we go. Oh and if the Paper Champion could look like someone else (if I had time to make a new one) It would.

Friday, 25 November 2011

Retro Horses

It's Like the olden days of SLCW Arena are back again!

Horses Morrisey looking SpLendid in her Ice White Shirt, Cream Jodhpurs, Black Riding Boots, Riding Crop and Rubber Anger Thong. Also In photo - Hugely successful Slampoo and SLoup ventures.
Horses took literally 1 second out of her busy schedule to talk in the third person for this fucking annoying blog post. Here, this is the stuff she used to wear for wrestling. I might wear it again for the upcoming Blizzard PPV. The riding boots are a bit big though... shit third-person consistency...  She might wear it again for the upcoming Blizzard PPV. The riding boots are a bit big though.

Obviously this great photo brings back great memories of Slampoo and SLoup. Two great products that are sadly no longer with us. I used to love washing my Prim hair, then whilst it was drying enjoying a nice SLoup. Hang on, I don't get paid to say this shit anymore. SLampoo was terrible. SLoup was horrible. Nobody misses them. Nobody.

So there we are then. Retro Horses gear. Great!

Thursday, 24 November 2011

Shit Gimmick Match - Midnight Naked Barbed Wire Inferno

You know me, always looking for the next epic/crap wrestling match, so imagine my utter excitement when I made this. It's a Midnight Naked Barbed Wire Inferno match. It's not for the faint of heart either!

Here's a few photos from the massively successful trial...

Stood, naked, in the middle of a burning ring with barbed wire ropes...

...this is starting to feel like a very dumb gimmick match.

Sat naked in fire and barbed wire (and not getting paid for it - dumb move)

Our Horsey Hero crawls away into the barbed wire inferno (dumb move)

Slightly (very) Burnt after the (dumb) event
So maybe not quite as successful as I originally said. I got very burnt. So out of 10 I give the Midnight Naked Inferno Barbed Wire "Look boobies" match 2/10. It's a shit idea. No Buys. No Traffic. Maybe a few noobs who'll jump into your ring and make your talent feel ordinary. Dumb idea really.


Monday, 27 June 2011

Wrestling career update

Okay so I'm not dead.

I died, but I returned to life! I parted company - well they fired me for various reasons, I just blogged about earlier - with HAWX. I was going to retire but I wanted one last hurrah. So I applied to return to my wrestling birth place. I returned to DCWF (originally SLCW until Linden Lab made them change their name). It's good for me. Sure I lose every week, but that will change. I'm a bit rusty.

I've been back there a couple of months. As they say 'oop North "It's all Gravy". Apart from the losing bit. I've got a whole stock of ICOPRO on order though, that'll be my game changer.

Peace + Fuckin'

Horses.

HAWX fired me... the rotters

HAWX fired me on the 17th of May 2011. These are the reasons they (Nanny) gave in a notecard which was distributed to basically everyone in the world (well maybe just HAWX groups).

It is with regret that we announce the release Horses Morrissey (Real name: Donkey McHaggis) from the roster.

It was well known that Horses had attended the company sponsored rehab program several times, resulting in the doctors at the clinic needing to attend the company sposored rehab.

Horses was found smuggling in weapons grade cannibis and Mitch Hosselhaff into the facility for a night of raving and lusty sex. She would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling kids.

While this was ok in the old sim, the owners of MetaMix Island decided this was too much and asked the promoters of HAWX (The name has been abbreviated now to remove the word "wrestling") to release Horses.

Horses is best known for her work with Nanny Gothly, and Elisa Riddler. Since holding the HAWX title, though, Horses had gotten grossly overweight and pimply, and rarely washed her hair, and coworkers said she smelled of kippers and fungus.

HAWX wishes Horses best in her future endeavors in TNA.
Let's correct a few wrongs here... basically that's all correct. Nanny, Never forget Horses :) ...

Tuesday, 25 January 2011

RIP Horses


Horses Morrisey is dead. The Metaverses' Rose was found dead at her ocean side villa. It is believed she allowed a vacuum cleaner salesman to demonstrate their new upright bag-less model (Supa-Suck 890000) and she died of a massive bullshit trauma to the head and boredom. She was only 25 years of age. Horses leaves behind no family, but there is a small owl somewhere flying aimlessly around her inventory.



Horses is dead in this photo.


And she's still dead in this one.


Yep. She's dead alright.


Horses is most famous for her hugely unsuccessful haircare business ventures and high maintenance British Pubs. She once flung an innocent Horse & Biscuit pub visiting noob 800 metres in the air "for the hell of it". She will not be missed.

Saturday, 1 January 2011

My 2010 Second Life Wrestling review.

Ok here's my take of SL Wrestling in 2010. I'll start with myself - because i'm self obsessed of course! - and finish with some more general observations.

2010 for Horses Morrisey (the wrestler) was all about VWE and HAWX.

VWE highlights were getting shaved bald at the Overdrive FPV and my Hardcore match a few weeks later where I got absolutely battered. Awesome awesome match.

HAWX highlights have to be the drunk match against Nanny - I love you Nanny! - and the HAWX title tournament.

So my two favourite matches...

Horses vs Elisa Riddler - Hair vs Valet.
I've posted several times about this whole feud, but I struggle to describe properly how great Ely is. She is so talented and carried my Horsey bottom to some decent matches. I got killed by lag in the FPV match but the head shaving spot at the end was brilliant.

I'm not a proud women :) If doing something silly and embarrassing like walking around wearing a whale costume or wrestling in slime will get a crowd reaction then I'm up for that. The crowd's reaction to the shaving and the reactions when my riding helmet popped off in matches afterwards made walking around bald for 2 months absolutely worth it. Maybe its a cheap way to get a reaction, but my wrestling mostly sucks so it's the best way I know of getting over.


Horses vs Nanny - Drunk Match.
This is possibly my most favourite match (that i've been in!). Nanny is amazing. She'll go down in history as one of the best. This match was so much fun. I'm sure Wrestling snobs will rubbish it, but it was just so much fun. Sure some people will remember me as the girl who vomited everywhere, but what's wrong with that? Nanny is amazing. I felt we both did really well at acting drunk and I liked the cute falling asleep spots. What we did was different. Different can be brave and it can be stupid... but it's rarely forgettable.


Other memories of Second Life Wrestling in 2010.

VWE's Production Values
VWE must have higher production values than most RL Indy feds. It's amazing how much time, effort and money goes into producing logos, arenas and the shows.




DCWF
I make no secret that I LOVE Paula Wilcox. One of my wishes in SL is to feud with her once more before I retire. We started one when I was in DCWF and it never finished. She is my SL Wrestling Hero. She is just the best. The absolute best wrestler in SL bar none. She could even carry me to a good match.


Shinja
This man is all shades of awesome. If Alpin is King of SL Wrestling then Shinja is his bezzy mate. I was speaking to him last week and stole a Sir Winston Churchill quote to describe him. He's a riddle, wrapped inside a mystery, inside an enigma. That's both inside and outside the ring too. In the ring he's one of the best. Maybe the best active male wrestler. It's hard not to get carried away with his characters. Oh and Shinja, if you're reading this, trust me, the ladies tickle downstairs when you're around. If you were shallow - which you're not - then you'd have quite a collection of ring rats on your bed post. Never change!


Last but not least... TNT.

TNT was a set of Wrestling events planned to make money for Cancer research. Second Life lost a loved citizen to the illness so the amazing people in SL Wrestling got together and put on several shows and raised a jaw-dropping amount of money for charity. The brains and heart behind this was Nanny Gothly. I've sang her praises as a wrestler but I must also praise her personally. She went above and beyond in the planning of these events. If they handed out honours in Second Life then she'd be a Dame.

To everyone who worked on and attended those events, you're beautiful, amazing and should be proud of yourselves. The TNT events brought Alpin out of retirement, had DCWF and VWE share a ring and saw Wrestling take place in an MMA ring! It really was Second Life United for a great cause. The thousands (of US Dollars!!) raised to help the battle against cancer was a signal of how amazing Second Life can be.


Right, that's enough. If you read to the end then well done. Here's hoping 2011 is a great year for SL Wrestling too.

Peace & F**kin'
Horses xxxx

Shit and other swear words

Welcome to 2011, my 4th year of Second Life (TM) (R) (ARSE).

Resolutions are 99% shit, but let's pretend they're useful. Here's my Second Life (TM) (R) (ARSE) resolutions.

1. Waste less money on rubbish.
2. Wrestle more.
3. Wrestle less.
4. Wrestle Fest.
5. Have much more sex.
6. Have less sex.
7. Wear fewer clothes.
8. Wear more clothes.
9. Retire.
10. Own a yacht (see 1.).

I'm going to focus on Resolution 1. I'm confident I can be successful in that.

Right i'm off to buy some ill-fitting SL Lingerie. It's a bargain at 900L$

Peace & Fuckin'

Horses xxxxxx.