Horses on Horses - Chapter 109: Put the Slampoo on Ice

As you'll no doubt be well aware by now, my life has been a struggle, a triumph, a raging success and almost certainly better than yours. I've had to fight for all my numerous successes, which again will almost certainly out-number yours. There is one area of my life which hangs down like a wet Wednesday. That area is Slampoo.

Slampoo should have been a massive success. The vast majority of people in the Metaverses have rubbish hair. What they needed was a good Shampoo and the scientists behind Slampoo believed they'd found the formula to such a product. What they needed was a legitimate megastar to endorse their product, this is where I come in.

Now as you'll already know, I won't just put my name to any old rubbish. Yes, the list of products i've endorsed may be long, but they're all good products. As well as being a great Wrestler, I also consider myself a Certificate for quality. Basically, if you see that brand on Horses' Wrestling outfit, then you know it's good. My seal of approval... A Horses of Approval.

Slampoo though was a massive failure. Despite a huge advertising campaign and the millions they were paying me, there was one huge problem - the product was crap. Utter bobbins. It made hair worse. Some people said their hair fell out after using it!

They made the mistake of giving out free samples, people would try them, realise the product was rubbish and then i'd get abuse at Wrestling shows. Worse still, they'd give samples out at shows to people who knew it was a shit product, and irate fans would throw or squirt them at me.

Now Money is nice, but when some orange noob has just called you a Horsey Bitch and Squirted Slampoo Rotherham Mint in your face outside SLCW on Russo Sim a line has been crossed! I WENT SCATTY! I told the Slampoo people to sort their terrible product out immediately.

Now to their credit they did eventually come out with Slampoo 2, which had a new colour scheme on the bottles and was a bit better. But before they could do the patch up job on Slampoo I had gotten so angry I slammed their product publicly. Everything I said was right, but it didn't stop the scumbags canceling my massive contract with them and them eventually getting all the money they'd paid me back.

So all the advertising, degrading of myself and angry-public-slampoo-free-sample-facials i'd gotten were for nothing. I hate the idiots who made Slampoo. HATE them. It was rubbish for Metaverse Hair.