Shag! She dropped her knickers and had it off!

...That's the name of my forthcoming book (Yes, Honestly - Shag! She dropped her knickers and had it off!). Its about a lady called Ragiro. She's a 'right sort' and goes around shagging ALL the time. One day she meets Charlie, who wines and dines her. Then, there's a twist and it ends. Here's a short preview:

She looked down at his pounding lawnmower. It had clearly seen its best days and was now moments away from blowing its load out. There was probably 5 months of compressed grass cuttings in there. It'd take some cleaning up if it all shot out.

Charlie arrived with some ice and water. Ragiro turned off the lawnmower and went to greet Charlie. "I've done the lawn" she said. "I love a well groomed lawn, don't you?". "Well i've always preferred the natural look" replied Charlie, much to Ragiros disappointment. "Oh well, we'll just have to let it grow in future" she said before sipping her water through the gaps in her front teeth.

You want to read more? Well buy the book when it comes out! It'll be available from all branches of Bacon-Hill-Crack book stores for £69.95. You cannot order it on-line because this is a serious book and therefore should be purchased face-to-face.

Thank you.
H.