Monday, 23 June 2008

It's been a long time, baby!

Well this seems like my first post in ages... that is probably because it is!

What's been happening in my second life? Well, Horse and Biscuit British Pub has moved. Its quite a big move too. The pub is now just a small part of Playa de las Caballos. Other features are the beach, water falls, hotel, town square, social space and football stadium. It is a heck of an upgrade. Expect a nice photo walkthrough soon and a quick search for the name of the resort using the SL search tool should point you in the right direction.

This really is just a quick update (it is late!) i'll fill you all in with more details later. I've lots to say :)

Peace and f**kin'
Horses x-x3

Sunday, 27 April 2008

Baths vs Showers. A Second Life test.

It is an age old debate. What's best, a Bath or a Shower? Purely for research - and not a reason to post gratuitous shower/bath photos - I've had a shower and bath and shall divulge my experience and opinions. Click on any of the research photos to get a better look. Some have been 'stylised' for artistic reasons (since they are research photos there would be no reason to censor them).


Let's start with a good old Bath.
Having a long soak in the bathtub is one of lifes pleasures. Add some aromatics and candles, and you've got either bathing heaven or bathing hell. Just never put a radio next to the bath and connect it to the mains. The bath is also the natural home of the rubber duck(y). An amazing species, some even squeak.

I've got a big stone bath (right) which isn't plumbed in, but somehow manages to fill when I click on it. It's always piping hot because of the steam you see coming off it. Whenever your prims are tired, or skin is looking a little pixelated due to a day of excessive lag, it's the best way to wind down - apart from sex, but after that you tend to need a bath or shower anyway (going off some of the prims i've pulled!).

The great thing about a bath is you can make it all bubbly and make funny hairstyles with the foam. Baths are much more fun that showers (if by fun you mean fun fun and not sexy fun) and your skin turns all wrinkly if you stay in for two long.


The Shower (scene).

Feeling sweaty and dirty? Jump into the shower and within 10 minutes you'll be all clean, refreshed and dried off again (not including hair).

Showers are quicker than baths and if your shower is powerful enough and also operates as a hand-shower, you can really clean the places the sun doesn't shine. There's something quite beautiful of warm soft water being projected a dangerous speeds into the most tender areas of the human (or second human) body.

Showers also accommodate for silly hairstyles, they're more suitable for using a vast ray of gloopy cleaning solutions, singing and if your shower is powerful enough it can really hurt - which is great.



Where would we be without the good old cold shower? Perfect for waking up or cooling down. Baths just aren't practical for that. You can jump out of a shower if its too hot/cold quicker than you could jump out of a bath.

This old blog made my shower somewhat infamous. It's powerful jets of water will rearrange your prims back into their natural position, but its 'extra animations' will throw them all about again. At this point I must thank my friend Nude (yes, that is his real name) who threw my prims around in my shower... i'm still finding some around the plug hole.

Decision time:
Erm... it's baths. Showers are fun, but baths are lazy. Which is good!

Thursday, 24 April 2008

Just a general naked photograph really


I'm in a dirty/drugged mood so I thought i'd post this charming photograph (click to go bigger!).

I know its not showing pink bits (Still PG, Goooooogle!) but I was naked (and alone - so nothing sexual) at the time. There are other photos to prove this as well. You'll have to marry me to see them though.

Happy Thursday* 

*Here anyway, Its 1:15am.

Wednesday, 23 April 2008

Today the enemy lost 56 men, 5 guitars, 2 pianos and a trumpet.

"Who needs guitars anyway?" asked Alice Deejay back in 2000. The answer: They did because their career went downhill soon after and they never matched the good old days of Better off alone and Back in my life.


Guitars then. Funny old instrument when you think about it. When I think guitar, I hear Guitar Solos, See hotel rooms being trashed and the Honky Tonk Man hitting people with them.

If I went to war and my only weapon could be ONE musical instrument I'd seriously consider taking a guitar, I think many people would. After thinking again though i'd take a big massive organ that could fly, and then have it run over the enemy and squash them to death.

How the war was won by Horses Morrisey - The BBC philharmonic orchestra 77 Squadron flew in on their flying Organs and blasted Fritz back to Germany with a swift but firm trombone attack. Wrap up the rockets and bring in the Orchestras, I say. Oh but not Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark. Leave them on VH1 (classic). No "shock and awe" from the British, We'd do "Swift and Firm", it just sounds better and it yells "100% success" at you.

Now I read this back I think that maybe i've been taking too many drugs. Music in war! Gracie Fields at a push but thats it! Who needs guitars anyway? The British Army don't for one!

Monday, 21 April 2008

Move over red rum (not literally, you're buried at Aintree Racecourse) there's a new Horsey champ in town!



The photo is a bit of a giveaway. I WON! You are looking at the SLCW Womens Champion (worrying announced as the Womens Heavyweight Champion before the fight). I came, I saw, I conquered. It was a magnificent victory. My good friend Paula - who is a champion in another sport - and I celebrated like it was 1999. Paula was on hand to see my famous victory and got a really good view of the action towards the end of the fight.

I'm sure everyone is very pleased I won. It was an honour representing my fellow Horses and thank you to my sponsors. I don't actually have any sponsors, but if i did i'd be thanking them. It's quite an honour being a female and wrestling version of Red Rum, and like the legendary racehorse, I shall never crap on Blue Peter like a dirty elephant might. Talking of childrens telly - as you can see - I relaxed afterwards with a nice herbal rizla cone (containing nothing that a masking agent can't fix). Wellness. Pah!

Saturday, 19 April 2008

Horses' Million Dollar title belt fight

Sunday 20th April. Reichstag Nightclub  @ 12 Noon, Somewhere in SL. See Horses Morrisey (that'd be me) wrestle some rubbish woman called Misaki (or Musaki) for the Million Dollar SLCW Womens title. It's in the bag already - I WILL be champion, she's nothing compared to me, it'll be so easy. When I am i'll throw a "Champions Party" at Horse and Biscuit. You'll all be invited.


Most importantly, come see the match for yourself! Noon on Sunday (Noon being 12pm!). Anyone who shouts out "crackerjack" during my match will get a big long kiss afterwards - so long as I win, which I undoubtedly will because I'm the best (Cue Joe Esposito's Karate Kid track "You're the best" - Choon!)

Wednesday, 9 April 2008

The spy who lagged until its inventory burst

Have you visited The Horse and Biscuit yet? NO! Why not!!!

An ugly testing tool from Linden Labs has. It looked for all the pings in Data Valley that is was some dodgy tool made by a naughty person. Created by Tester3 Tester (or something like that) it was simply a square box with default wooden texture and a silver ball sat on top. It claimed to monitor teleports and do other stuff to help improve second life. I didn't trust it. Return to Sender as Elvis once sang.

The beautiful people who run the sims my places are on contacted Los Lindonios and guess what... it was really Linden Labs. Some unimaginative technical wiz' has created a 'testing' tool and gone out of their way to make it look untrustworthy. They don't even drop the landowner a note saying what it is and its legitimate. Deary me!

Thats it.

Saturday, 29 March 2008

He reached deep inside her nose bag, and let off a fart. Horses on Sex in SL!

Buenos Tarde, senoras y caballeros. Caballos Morrisey aqui.


If you're thinking that I'm spanish, then you clearly have no grasp of Spanish writing and grammar. Nor do I, hence the shocking "Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen. Horses Morrisey here" Spanish sentence.

Anyway, enough Spanish for one post. How about we look deep inside the meaning of Second Life, and how people treat their second lives. Having spoken to several idiots about the subject, I learnt one thing. The best way to make easy money on Second Life is to become a prostitute/gigolo, or escorts as they're more politely called here. Dancers make a bit of money, its like a more involved form of Camping, but the real money is with the prozzies. In RL you'd be hounded out of your village and have effigies of you burnt if you were revealed as a 'lady of the night'. In SL its mostly accepted as okay, especially since it's not real sex. But if it's not real, why will some gentlemen (and ladies) pay around 1,000$L to have it?

I decided to go undercover. No dirty street corners with ladies almost wearing rubber dresses here. It's mostly lag ridden night clubs, with ladies having 'escort' themed tags on and their picture on the wall.  I asked around for prices - in an "i'm just interested in how it works" way - and the general figure was between $L800 and $L1,000 for 30 minutes. A few charged more for 'additional extras' like acting out certain themes (nothing illegal) and one wanted an extra $L150 to have anal sex! Mustn't have been a Catholic girl!

I then decided to spice things up a bit. I told a few that I was a SL Lesbian, and wanted to know if they'd have sex with me. Of the 5 I asked only 2 agreed, and on both occasions they put the price up. One quoted $L2,000! The other said $L1,200 (she wanted $L800 for men) but she'd do it for $L800 if a man could watch. I declined both offers.

So what did I learn? Well morals are slightly lower in SL. Inhibitions are much lower (not such a bad thing) and sex is rife. The most amazing thing was that people would pay these prices, when they could get it for free in virtually any bar or nightclub in a mature area. What happened to the art of conversation? Talk to the man or woman, dance, flirt and then try your luck! Lads, for goodness sake, don't walk around naked with a huge hard-on. At best its very pathetic but funny (for the people you're trying to impress) and at worst its crude and nasty. Keep it in your pants!

It's all a bit of fun though, isn't it?

H.

Friday, 28 March 2008

Second Life in (not very) secret 'rubbish mode'

Want to know why Second Life(TM)(C)(LAG) will never be really great? It's summed up in one small graphic below:

It's Friday Night, it's 'chill out for the weekend' time and Second Life (TM)(C)(LAG) are shut down for maintenance. Does Brighton close on Fridays? Does Liverpool stop thieving on Fridays? NO! Does Second Life (TM)(C)(LAG) close on a Friday, without giving more than a semi-toss about its 'residents'? Oh yes it does.


Me: Mr Travel Agent, I want to go for an evening break this Friday, where can I go?
Mr Travel Agent: Well you could go to Brighton, Edinburgh or LAG City... oh sorry, Lag City is closed this Friday. Maybe you could fly there via Heathrow Terminal 5?

The Horse and Biscuit had an event planned for tonight... now ruined! The Lag is DEAD, Long live the LAG.

Wednesday, 26 March 2008

The Horse and Biscuit - Opens Wednesday 26th. Be there!

Like my boyfriend always used to say "Just a quickie", although in this case it's not because I suffer from premature ejaculation.


Okay, a quickie then... The Horse and Biscuit British Pub opens on Wednesday 26th March. Smashin' live opening night planned. Free booze and whatever else happens. You'll find The Horse and Biscuit through a simple places search. I'll add a SLurl Landmark when I have more time. 'Party' starts at around 3PM, but the pub is open already!

Also, a quick mention to other events planned this week:
  • SLCW presents LIVE PRO WRESTLING at The Horse and Biscuit. Show starts at 3pm.
  • This Friday night is 'lads' night. Men, come act like a pillock who can't handle their drink. Ladies, animals, aliens, people in between and sensible men can come and laugh at them, or join in! Stripper not booked yet, but planned.

Nitey Nite.

Sunday, 23 March 2008

The Horse and Biscuit - Almost complete

It is almost complete... my very own public house with a twist.

The Horse and Biscuit will open very soon. It's still being built but there are already several attractions. Including:
  • Fully licensed bar, serves gassy beers, Irish slop, wines, spirits and soft drinks.
  • Funky Rain patio with grill.
  • Lovely peaceful seating area with roaring fireplace.
  • A jukebox playing bad music.
  • Darts.
  • Upstairs Discotheque where you can dance the night away to the hip new sound of the juke box.
  • Strip Poker game that is almost impossible to understand.
  • Your chance to Ride the Horse, complete with leader board - Every rider wins a crappy prize.
  • Beautiful view of Button Moon.
  • Extra secret stuff.
There's much more to come as well. Just search for "Horse and Biscuit" on the places tab and you'll find it. Landmark and details of opening events will be posted as soon as I have the details.

H.

Thursday, 20 March 2008

Shag! She dropped her knickers and had it off!

...That's the name of my forthcoming book (Yes, Honestly - Shag! She dropped her knickers and had it off!). Its about a lady called Ragiro. She's a 'right sort' and goes around shagging ALL the time. One day she meets Charlie, who wines and dines her. Then, there's a twist and it ends. Here's a short preview:

She looked down at his pounding lawnmower. It had clearly seen its best days and was now moments away from blowing its load out. There was probably 5 months of compressed grass cuttings in there. It'd take some cleaning up if it all shot out.

Charlie arrived with some ice and water. Ragiro turned off the lawnmower and went to greet Charlie. "I've done the lawn" she said. "I love a well groomed lawn, don't you?". "Well i've always preferred the natural look" replied Charlie, much to Ragiros disappointment. "Oh well, we'll just have to let it grow in future" she said before sipping her water through the gaps in her front teeth.

You want to read more? Well buy the book when it comes out! It'll be available from all branches of Bacon-Hill-Crack book stores for £69.95. You cannot order it on-line because this is a serious book and therefore should be purchased face-to-face.

Thank you.
H.

Wednesday, 19 March 2008

The Horse and Biscuit

Want to 'hang' somewhere 'hip'? Well go to your local off-licence, buy some cider and get shit faced outside with the chavs, neds, scroats, asbos and tramps. Want to see somewhere rubbish in Second Life? Head over to The Horse and Biscuit, it my new venture! Its the place that doesn't know what its doing. Its a rather large Pub, with some hidden surprises!

Its modelled on bits of my RL. Its got the name of a regular public house. It's got bits of music I like (well it will have eventually), its sunny, yet rainy. Its got hills (well slopes) because I grew up walking up (or down) flipping hills! Its got funky wallpaper because I like funky wallpaper and its got a slime pit after the bf who's idea of kinky fun was to jump into the bath with me and pour gunge, food, paint and general goo over us. It's called WAM (not Wham! - that's a pop group) and it ruined a very good bath and bed of mine. There's also a bit of a sunshine patio, some funky chequered floor and good old fashioned stones. It looks bobbins at the moment, and there's much to be done, soon it'll be finished... and then returned to me after I cannot afford the rent :(

Landmark to The Horse and Biscuit is coming soon (you could probably search for it and find it that way) and news of a launch party will follow.

Neigh!

Wednesday, 12 March 2008

One wedding and a funeral

In 1994, Hugh Grant - AKA Cunt in Specs - flapped his "gosh" onto our cinema screens with the summer smash hit! Four Weddings and a Funeral. It followed a typical supposedly middle class English twat who goes to lots of weddings, then the life and soul of the party snuffs it, he goes to his funeral and ultimately ends up getting together with the American woman. Cap it off with one of the most cringe-worthy lines in the history of cinema - "Is it raining, I hadn't noticed" - and you've got a hit on your hands. Then for afters, kick in shit 80s band Wet Wet Wet (led by their ego Marti Pellow) and you've got global domination on your hands.

Now, people loved this film... Hugh Grant became HUGE Grant... before he blew it all by hooking up with a hooker. That American women Andi Mc-something-or-other did some shampoo commercials and British Cinema was the pride of Britain again. A few years later some jobless Yorkshire scum whipped their cocks out for the local ladies to ogle at, and it made British Cinema even greater.

Well, more than 10 years on, I - Horses Morrisey - added my own little drama to the pride of Britain (not those awards the crappy newspaper gives to freedom fighters and victims of 'yoof crime). I got faked married and fake divorced all in a couple of days. A story so great it could sell out your local Odeon, if there was one seat and someone tricked a spanner into thinking the Odeon were doing a secret showing of Rambo 4 in there.

One day i'll approach some mega film person about making the movie, until then promise me you won't watch anything with Hugh Grant in. Okay?

Friday, 7 March 2008

Cows

Why do Cows hate Horses so much?

I was speaking to a Cow earlier today and She said "I hate Horses, I do". I never told the Cow my name, I just said "Piss off and get milked you big fat Cow". She ran after me but I was too fast. Silly Cow thinking she could outrun a Horse! She may be the source of lots of milk, and clever men and women may be able to make that milk drinkable by adding chocolate flavouring to it, but she's still a stupid Cow. Three letters, Daisy... U, H and T.

Cows are apparently one of the greatest emitters of CO2. I say... kill them all. Mad Cow Disease tried it once already. Maybe its time for someone else to have a go. Send in the Americans. Rambo can lead the way. The end of Cows! So we might not be able to eat fillet steak any more, and yes Pork does taste rubbish, but its a small price to pay if it saves the planet.

To be fair, some Cows aren't that bad. Maybe the Americans and Rambo could just shout "Boo" at them lots of times. Maybe that's a fairer solution to the bad attitude and CO2 that cows pollute this world with.

Sunday, 2 March 2008

Injury prevents Horses from breaking a Mopp

I fell off my stable roof on Thursday. The resulting injuries were awful. Broken prims in my leg and several cuts across on my body meant I couldn't batter Moppy McMopp in our not-so eagerly awaited wrestling match on Saturday.

Gutted! It's the best word to describe how upset I feel. There I was, just pissing about on the roof and the next thing I know i'm on the floor with prims everywhere! I had to lie to them at the hospital about my name. Horses are usually shot if they break their leg. I told them my name was Dog. It worked!

The doctors said my leg should be okay soon, so that is good! Rumours that my leg doesn't really have prim damage are wider than a buses arse. The fact some people suggest i'm scared of a glorified stripper hurt my Horsey feelings. Anyone telling me such horse shit to my face will get a swift kicking.

For those sickos out there who like to see injured horses, he's a couple of pictures to prove my prims are really damaged.



Friday, 22 February 2008

Horses vs Whore. March 1st, Noon SLT. Watch it!!!!

Want to see Horses wrestle?
Hop along to the SLCW Arena on the 1st March. The event starts at noon SLT.
I'm up against Moppy again. Watch me beat the whore to pieces.
Come down, watch the wrestlers, boo other wrestlers and give Moppy hell! I know my growing fan club would love to see Priscilla Mopp being battered to little moppy pieces. Don' miss out on the chance to see a pathetic bin-whore get put in her place. She does look a little like a mop too.
The Monster is on the show too, he is great!

Wednesday, 20 February 2008

f**kin' in the bushes

In between lag and memory dumps, Second Life can be quite the entertaining place. It was once hyped to me as a place where you can do pretty much anything you can in RL, your imagination is the only boundary, etc, etc. Now we all know that is rubbish as there are plenty of things in RL that you cannot do in SL. Likewise though, there are plenty of things in SL you cannot do in RL - Fly, Teleport, ride cars on the pavement and prostitution are the main ones that come into my mind.

Another thing that RL fails in where SL succeeds is its possible to buy some land and a house for less than 10 years wages. When it comes to fitting out your house there are plenty of freebies available, or you can pay a few lindens for something slightly more unique.

Let me get to the point here. I'm not going all deep into the rights and wrongs of UK property prices, or the cost of living in developed countries. No, my point is to show off a funky shower I bought.

If sex can be associated with it, then you'll find a sexed version in SL. Sex Table, Sex Piano, Sex chair, Sex Car, Sex toilet!! I guess some peoples FLs are quite lonely so they use their SL to create items they wish they could use in RL. My shower looks really funky, but predictably its also sexed up to the mildew with dirty animations. As with all dirty objects, you have a little play about with it and have a laugh at the positions. The first time i played with a sex bed I couldn't stop laughing. My shower was simpler though. It was simple, hugging poses, sex poses and oral poses. Not much imagination, but this is a shower after all and injuries can happen in wet areas (the floor!!!).

What use is a sex shower without someone to share it with? Not much use really! I showed friends when giving them a guided tour of the house, but I just showed them the shower working as a shower. I had to try my shower out with another person!! Cue "Nude". "Nude" was a friend I'd met somewhere in SL - i forget exactly where - and we'd been to a house party the night before where we all got a little carried away. We'd already seen each 'others', so what harm becoming casual f**k buddies for when one of us buys something filthy.

Being evil, rather than asking "Nude" if he wanted to **** in the shower, I just teleported him to my bathroom as I was in the shower getting clean. Like most men, he didn't need much convincing to jump in.

And so "Battle commenced". The shower was fantastic! It was great for a giggle, but I imagine if you were deeply in SL love then you could possibly share a romantic session with someone else as millions of pixels form into a virtual reality blow job. The thought of having a virtual honeymoon on some SL romantic island before retiring to the bedroom for several hours poseball abuse just makes me want to get married. Actually, no it doesn't!

Blob over to the Isle of Horses, break into my house and you'll find the bathroom on the top floor. There is no toilet, so if you want a #1 or #2 you have to go in the sea - ideally so it drifts away from the land. The shower and all its wetness is there though. If I catch anyone using it without me being in there then i'll call the Ghostbusters.

Here, for your perversion and my exhibitionism, are photos of myself and "nude" testing my shower. These are printed with his permission... actually that isn't true, I had his permission to post a much worse photo from the night before, so he's getting off lightly here :)





I do feel the need to add that apart from a few moments when the second photograph was taken, the curtains were closed throughout! I think the entire scene looks rather romantic as well. Sure, you haven't seen the other more graphic photos of us, but in the right lighting its a love making shower, not just a sex shower. The same cannot be said for most SL sex items.

Sunday, 17 February 2008

Horses vs Mopp - Live Wrestling!!!

Oh-What-a-Rush!

My limited wrestling knowledge ventures as far as the Legion of Doom (AKA The Road Warriors). I remember their music before they came out, it went something like "Ohhh What a rush!". I think they were good guys because they always seemed to be popular with the fans. To get to a point though, the phrase "What a Rush" sums up my first ever live wrestling event!

I've rarely been so nervous! This was SL and there I was absolutely bobbing my pants! I had ponys running around my belly! This was Second Life and I was more nervous than performing in RL! Would my connection die? Would the lag kill me? Would I just mess up a move? I was asking all those questions before. I masked it the best I could. Before the match I said to my opponent, Priscilla Mopp, that we'd steal the show and everything would be great. I'd be fibbing if i said i truly believed that would be the case, but compared to a few hours before when we were total strangers, i felt there was a chance it could happen.

The start wasn't quite to script, but was okay. Everything went okay after that - apart from my trash talking - and then I messed up! The ending was Mopp would jump off the top rope for me and i'd move. We had practised it perfectly before. Sadly I managed to mess it up! First of all when i tried to move I didn't. Why? Because i'd sent an IM to her before and forgot to put the focus back on the world screen. She did another splash, i was very close to the corner and tried to move towards it - text book - Apart from there wasn't room and she hit me still. Third time lucky? She jumped from the top again, I moved out of the way successfully and she hit the floor. I then got up, DDT and pin for the win! We got away with it in a sense. But in another sense i managed to take 2 evil looking splashes, but still moved out of the way of a third and then won the match! That's just pushing the boundaries of reality a little far. It was my fault, but we kept on going and the DDT looked pretty nasty so the pin was convincing.

From scared and nervous before and during, afterwards was a total buzz. We'd managed it!!! Sure it wasn't amazing, but it didn't stink either! Lots to improve on but it could have been so much worse! I owe most of the good things to my opponent, Priscilla. She was outstanding! Thank you so much! Here's to more battles down the line. Thanks to the people there who provided a good turnout as well. I counted at least 25 people, which considering there was hardly any promotion of the event, is pretty good.

I should be wrestling again on the 2nd March. Landmark and confirmation to follow! That event is a big one so the crowd will be bigger! Can I continue my reign of neigh's over the female division of SLW?!?! You must turn up to see!

I didn't get any photos of our match - was slightly distracted - but I'll find if anyone else did. If so, i'll put them up here.

Horses Morrisey - Undefeated!

Wednesday, 13 February 2008

I've visited here in RL and its so much better than its 'prim' cousin!

Oh buggery bugger! I think we've all screamed something like that when we've been crammed onto a Japanese train or you've been wandering around Berlin and you realise that you've left your favourite hat on the bus. Travelling has its downside and that lack of space or losing your favourite hat could indeed ruin your holiday. Although you'd be a bit weird if you let it.

Now, we've all wandered aimlessly around Second Life, a little like a drunk who is looking for a stool to sit on would. It can get rather boring at times as you see the same-old type place, but with different faces and varying degrees of lag. I've spent hours wandering and logged off thinking "Well, that was boring". Well be bored no more! Step forward the folk who are recreating towns, cities and other Real World places, into LagLife. Ranging from fantastic to "This is supposed to be where?" it can certainly be more fun doing a wild tour of RealLife places than going to The Zany Funky Club, or whatever tonights dance hall is called.

Until some idiot decides image rights on buildings and towns belong to someone else and thus sues the pixels out of virtual people, it looks like the Real World in the Virtual World, will only grow. Indeed i'm thinking of building my own SL version of Eccles in Manchester (Well, actually in Salford). I don't live there myself but when I have passed through its always struck me as being a crap place. People don't visit Eccles in RL so why visit in SL? Perhaps the crime rate will be lower, but will the trackies and hoodies brigade be any less pregnant or intimidating?

SL airbrushes RL places like Esquire Magazine airbrushes a celebrity's tits. I visited a SL Liverpool and didn't get mugged once! I loved what they built, it was pretty nice and it really tried to take all Liverpool's culture and put in on a Class 5 server with little lag, but to totally exclude any tracksuit wearing 'yoof is spoiling things. I want to visit SL London and get stuck in a traffic jam. I want to visit SL Paris and get insulted by various French people. A SL Costa del Sol would be great so long as the beach is packed with British lobsters. I visited SL London, and to be fair the tube system on it didn't work properly (Although it was pretty ace) but everything else was too holiday brochure style. You could also buy land and not have to sell a Kidney to afford the mortgage payments. Tube problems aside, that's not the London I know and somewhat despise.

My favourite of all was SL Manchester as there was nothing there. They'd tried to build Modern Manchester, and SL had displayed a truth that many virtual city builders may soon realise... there's bugger all in substance the RL city they're replicating. Whereas some places make the interesting seem almost perfect, there are others that will realise that their place just doesn't have any charm or anything that outsiders may find interesting. SL cities certainly cut through a lot of the RL hype and bragging. Now, i'm not saying that RL Manchester is rubbish, just the architects of the SL Manchester have clearly forgotten the city's charm. Instead of centring their Virtual city on the Real city's industrial history, science, media and musical achievements, they instead picked out shiny 'new' buildings and tried to convert them into prims. I guess its supposed to impress people, but quite honestly, those buildings are in every developed town around the Real World so why would I visit it in SL?

In fairness; you can visit The Hacienda in another part of SL. The Hacienda being a former nightclub and certainly something the SL Manchester should have had at its heart. Back to SL Manchester and I have to ask, Where was the area recording the citys place in the world-wide cotton Industry? The Manchester Ship Canal? The kickin' indie music scene, the sporting history and even Coronation Street! With the right angle, every town in Europe could probably build a great SL area about itself. It just has to rip away the current 'highstreet' look of most towns and think "What makes this place great?". Even the crappiest of towns - yes, this includes Eccles - can fill a few thousand sq. metres with information, entertainment and fun... or you could visit SL Random Town and have a drink in a Random nightclub that has a picture of a local celebrity on the wall. I know what i'd rather do... What? Barton Aerodrome in Eccles was the original location of Mancehster's Airport and is the home of the UK's first airport control tower! Wow!! Can i walk around it?

Sunday, 10 February 2008

Hair or Bald? The results are here...

The head shaving results are in and... The hair stays!

A barn storming 3 (three) people voted in this most important of polls, and the vote for keeping my hair was unanimous. Each of those 3 (three) wonderful people who voted, wanted my hair to stay on my head. Thank you, all!

To celebrate, how about some photos of the guaranteed "haired" Horses Morrisey.

Friday, 8 February 2008

Horses - The Wrestler!

I've got a new passtime in SL. I wanted to do something different, something i'd never do in RL. Well, I was wandering around SL - as you do - and I found Wrestling groups!

First was a 'fighting' group just for ladies. They did Kung-Fu (Looks very good!), Boxing and Wrestling. I didn't fancy the Kung Fu so I settled for wrestling. I remember watching Wrestling on the telly when I was younger and i'll openly admit that I could quite happily watch wrestling on the telly - if i caught it on - until about 3 years ago when the shows got a bit rubbish. When I say wrestling I am of course referring to WWF/WWE or whatever its called now. If I did try to watch it now I just find myself getting bored. I did watch TNA on Bravo in the UK and that was awful! In fact, the best wrestling shows i've seen on the telly recently are the smaller ones on The Wrestling Channel.

Back to SL. I'm now a wrestler! I'm a member of 2 groups and my first ever show should be on the 29th February. I don't know what part i'm playing in the show, but i'm sure it'll be ace! Once I know more i'll tell you all and give you a landmark to see Horses' wrestle.

Now I just need to come up with a name and gimmick! Any suggestions will be gratefully received.

Saturday, 2 February 2008

New Poll: Should Horses go bald?

It is time for a new poll, more than 2 votes this time please!

After my hair problems (Lag caused Baldness, read earlier entry) I found I quite liked the egg-head look. Deep down I think i'd have got fed up of being bald after half an hour, but whilst I was lagging it looked fine.

After this brush with baldness I contemplated getting a skin-head but I couldn't make my mind up. So I thought "Why not let someone else decide!" and as a consequence my new poll is born. Quite simply, you can vote on if i lose my hair or not! I fully expect lots of evil people to vote me bald (So long as more people vote this time!) so i'm prepared for that... but seriously consider if bald is the way. My many colours of hair are posted about on the blog so you'll get an idea of if this will be an improvement.

The poll is open for 9 days and I promise i'll stick by the result! If you decide that egg-head is the way then i'll post the resulting hair-cut on here, and you'll all be welcome to come see me yourself and make fun of me in virtual person. As a part of the deal, If you choose me to be bald then I will keep the look for a minimum of 2 weeks. No sneaky putting hair back on, i'll be bald for at least 2 weeks, and if i'm caught breaking it i'll be bald for 2 months. (I will allow myself to test our haircuts though, but they can't be on for longer than a couple of minutes).

Right, so the poll is open. Its on the right-hand side of the page. Go vote for me to keep my hair :D

A house update!

House Update...

My BEACHY STYLE house is coming on. It looks a bit bobbins, but its a first effort. Its styled on a barn/stable but fits on a beach. Pictures will appear as soon as it looks passable, until then you might be able to visit by searching for "Isle of Horses".

I feel I did approach this building project in the correct way. I drew a floor plan first, and kept to that. I've now realised that my one room is way to small. What can I do? Start from scratch, increase the size or build an extension? Decisions, Decisions!

Horses

Where's my hair gone?!?!?!

I hate LAG!!! There I was, dancing the night away and my hair vanishes! As it happened, I quite liked the bald look and might look at doing a permanent chopping of my hair :) but right then I didn't want to be bald. To (almost) quote The Stone Roses, i wanted to be adored... for my lovely red hair! I don't actually recall The Stone Roses mentioning red hair in their song, but if they had the song would have been much better. Not that it was a bad song, but "I wanna be adored... for my red hair, for my red hair, for my red hair. I wanna I wanna I wanna be adored. I wanna I wanna I wanna be adored. I wanna I-wanna I-wanna be adored. I wanna I wanna I got to be adored." would have sounded better.

That's it :)

Horses.

Wednesday, 30 January 2008

Putting a (Ceramic) roof over my head

I'm building my brand new house. I was looking at pre-fabricated houses but I wanted to build something myself. Sure, it might look rubbish, but at least it'll be mine.

Firstly I was building a 'paper' house, it was just some fun and something to learn from... sadly the local fun police put a stop to that being on my land. It wasn't beachy enough.

So i've started work on my sand-friendly house. Its nothing special, the walls barely join and the roof isn't right, it's probably too small as well. Nevertheless, its my house and i'm at the texture stage now.

Once upon a visit to Germany i saw some fabulous houses with ceramic roof tiles. They looked magnificent and i'm thinking that my house would look fab with those. I'm intelligent enough to realise that my limited design skills don't reach the unit on how to draw ceramic roof tiles, so I went shopping. There must be millions of textures out there, but I couldn't find any ceramic roof tiles.

So it's off to SL Exchange... where i'm still looking for my ceramic roof tiles. If anyone knows of anywhere that sells them then please let me know!!! You'll get an invite to my house warming party :)

From feedback to other posts on here, i've noticed that those containing rude photos of myself tend to get the best feedback, therefore, here's a couple of pictures of me naked in the paper house i was building.


Pixelated to retain some decency... and quite a brilliant window!


Somewhat cheeky... but look at the work that has gone into the floor :)

Please do remember, i need to find some ceramic roof tiles. Something blue or green, so it really stands out! Thanks!!!

Wednesday, 23 January 2008

I love calling Horse Chat, but Speed dating is very much the future for lonely horses

Call Horse chat now on... oh-eight-nine-one 50 50 50!

On a lonely night I often give Horse Chat a call. Its not cheap but they're all friendly. Yes, it takes over 20 minutes to finally speak to another lonely horse, but once you get to speak to them its worth it. 60 pence a minute is a little on the expensive side though.

Thankfully i've managed to reduce my chat-line outgoings by socialising at Speed Dating parties. They're a lot of fun and if everything is going badly you can apply a little gallows humour to your discussions. In RL you've got to bother putting on your best clothes, going to some horrible town where the party is and then talk to people. Speed Dating also exists in SL and its so much easier to do. No need to put on your best RL clothes - you could do it nude - and there's no need to go outside on a freezing and damp night.

There's a good old speed dating party on in Second Life every Wednesday. I do intend on being there today (23rd Jan) and every Wednesday until i finally get married. Why don't you pop along too! I cannot remember which location its at now - its in my landmarks but i cannot be arsed starting up SL - but drop me an IM (Horses Morrisey is my name!) and i'll tell you where or TP you. Lets put Horse Chat out of business. Lets all Speed Date!!!

I've been practising my lines. I'm going to introduce myself, say i'm a horse and then tell them I own land... as the photographs below prove.



I'm going to start building on my land soon and you're all invited to visit me! I'll tell you more in the future though. So far my land just has a few palm trees and a lovely Union Jack, which is there because I'm British and all the Australians and Americans seem to have their flags flying. I'm not a member of some scummer racist party or anything! (Its quite sad I have to explain that). Do you like my funky Transformers t-shirt too :)

Go Speed Dating on Wednesdays!!! This has been the worlds worst plug as i've not even told you where its at. I'll edit the post later on when I log in next ;) or just drop me a message when i'm online.


Horses.

Tuesday, 22 January 2008

The results are in... breakfast is being served!

In a quite thrilling poll, the ultimate truth as to what horses eat for breakfast has been discovered. A quite magnificent turn out of 2 voted in what was ultimately a split decision. The people decided that Horses either eat an almost full English breakfast first thing, or they eat Rabbits. There's most certainly two rather strong camps of opinion here, so we're best just letting them fight it out between themselves. No riots though.

To shoot the poll out of the water, research elsewhere suggests that horses eat neither of those. I couldn't be bothered reading the entire document but a quick search for "what do horses eat for breakfast" returns this blemish of knowledge...

How much does a horse eat for breakfast? 2-4 pounds of grain + 4 pounds of hay.

That may or may not be true, but being realistic here, its not in the same cuisine group as your average visit to a Little Chef or Rabbit serving restaurant. So it looks like everyone was wrong. I hope that news doesn't shock the world too much, and any riots in disagreement can be quelled before shots are fired.

For the record, this horse either skips breakfast (naughty) or eats toast. If they could get their own way though, they'd be eating coco pops.

Sunday, 20 January 2008

I bought some SL land!!!!

Yes... I've bought some land!

I've been homeless in SL for too long, it was time to get a roof over my head! I read a few guides, decided that the Main Land wasn't for me, and started hunting on the Islands.

I set my heart on 1024 sq metres of land, but somehow managed to get 4024 sq metres! So I have my own little patch of sand, with a few palm trees and sea all around me (for a few metres at least). You're all invited to visit me once i've built something :)

Here's a quick picture of me looking proud on my empty island :)


They'll be something magnificent there soon, I just got to build it... I better get back to it then!

Horses

Friday, 18 January 2008

Meet the horse who was abandoned by cowboys

Paula Cole once asked "Where have all the cowboys gone?". Her town obviously lacked a cowboy society. I met some cowboys in SL yesterday. There were real (SL) cowboys too! When I say cowboy i mean cowboy on a horse (not me!), not the cowboy term of being a job botcher.

The cowboys carried guns, which i believe is banned in many SL places. I went to the roughest looking nightclub in the (second) world and even they wouldn't allow weapons. Still, the responsible cowboys were behaving with their guns.

Suddenly, the Indians must have attacked their saloon because they all vanished and I was left dancing alone. Dancing alone is one of the most horrible social sensations in the world. It's like a vote of no confidence by the people who've been around you. Do I carry on dancing? Of course I do! Its the stiff-upper-lip that hits in and thinks "Sod 'em! I SHALL continue dancing without them". Good on me too. If all the solo-dancers continued to boogie, then they'd be fewer lonely people in the world (first and second).

That was a boring story... here's some photos of me dancing alone - not in the cowboys place though, these were taken on another occasion. I wasn't quite alone, but campers don't count.



...the cat doesn't count either. I'm unsure as to whether my top scared them off (my pants had a similar decoration at the back). I would love to meet the gentleman who donated the hands as they're huge!

Wednesday, 16 January 2008

Skirt problems

Why can't skirts just fit? Anything that is slightly challenging either needs spandex type shorts underneath, or doesn't fit your bum! Its not a moan at the wonderful designers out there, its just a moan in general.

Hunting for good skirts is difficult in SL!

Tuesday, 15 January 2008

You're just a friends-list whore who should be embarrassed

You know the feeling... You've been wandering around the shops, looking for the ideal gift for someone you don't particularly care for, when someone you don't like spots you and won't leave you alone. They have to start a conversation, if you've not seen them for a while they have to play Life Tennis. Wow, so you work for a blue chip company and have your own office! I work for the civil service and get a £17,000,000 pension when i retire (from sitting on my arse all day). Beat that, idiot head!

It's like a real-life version of facebook. Hey everyone, i've got 1,458 friends on Facebook! Sure i don't know 90% of them and many of the others just met me one time or we knew each other years ago but its still more friends that YOU!

It's like a popularity contest. Does Madam Annoying talk to you in the shop because she wants to 'catch up', or, does she just want to look like she is popular in front of other people? Does Dame Gigabyte (and number 1 candidate for identity theft) really want 1,458 friends on Facebook because she knows them and wants to remember them, or is it just some form of popularity measure? "I have more friends on Facebook, therefore i've been more successful in life". It's all nonsense!

Do I have a facebook account? Yes I do! How many friends do I have? Dozens! I started just accepting everyone who found me, especially since i could remember them. Some of the links were so tenuous though! There's one person who I knew from an old job. I worked with her for all of 2 months and even then we were in different offices. There's another who I met with friends at a party, we chatted for about 2 minutes before continuing to socialise with everyone. Then there's the people from uni, college and school. The chap who had the same university tutor as you, the random person who dropped out of college after 2 months, but you did a few History lessons together, so you're mates! There's the friends from school who you'd rather not see again, let alone speak to them.

I have a friend on Facebook who knows me from the lift (Elevator for you Americans) at college. We had a conversation! He told me how much I brightened his day up. It's a lovely thing to hear but also a little weird when he says you wore nice coats. Did my sunny aura light your day up, or just my coat? I never asked him but I was tempted. I have another 'friend' who I only remember because she hit me with a hockey stick during a game! The audacity of the woman!!! She belongs on my Hatebook list!

One of my latest friends is someone who I met on a night out. My memory of the night (and i was sober) was he spoke with my friend, and started speaking to me. We talked about the local restaurants for about 3 minutes before the three of us did a silly dance and told jokes for another 5 minutes. I then spent 2 more minutes trying to excuse myself from their company. His version was we had a great night dancing and I never gave him my mobile phone number, after i'd apparently promised it him. Unless I have a twin who immediately arrived after i'd made a run for it, he was talking rubbish. If i met him in a bar and he came out with that i'd make my excuses again (which may be rather blunt) and leave. On Facebook though, you can hype yourself up and twist things your own way. I don't so much have a great problem with it, but its annoying!

Where am I going with this? Well, I'm a hypocrite. My SL me resembles me in every way, apart from her technique with dealing with weirdos. In RL I love crazy people. If by chance you bump into me in RL, just act weird and different, we'll get on great! I don't care what the person looks like, what they wear or how they smell. If they're down to earth, honest and a little different then i'll drink and chat with them all night. They're also a cert for my Facebook friends list too :)

The hypocritical part of me is how I make friends in SL, and continually bug many of them. We don't know each other and haven't asked the questions that would let us do that, but I still talk to them like we'd grown up together. I'm even like that with normal people! Does the fact i can logout or 'mute' people make me more sociable? How about me agreeing to be friends with so many people, even when our paths probably won't cross again. I join so many groups i've no interest in. So what if you're giving away L$400 for the person who can dress most like a cat! I went to your club once, and thought it was bobbins.

As for Facebook, For someone who hates tenuous links between friends, i don't half accept a lot of people as friends. In my defence, I never approach them so i could blame it on being polite, but it still makes me hypocritical in my stance against egotistical social-networking self promotion.

I've neigh-ed for long enough. I'm off to discuss nonsense with people on SL. If you've bothered to read all this rubbish, then you're a stick-on for my friends list in SL (oh the honour!). Just give me an IM, start the conversation with the world "Tabular" ;)

Just to clear something else up, I do not work as a civil servant. I'd rather cut my face off with a pair of rusty old pliers.

Sunday, 13 January 2008

A trip to the SL hairdressers... yep, I jogged there :p

Everyone loves to have nice hair - well everyone apart from students. In SL i've found its easy to get both really nice hair and really bad hair. I don't count the style as a contributor to 'nice' and 'bad'. You are what you are, and its good to have an individual style.

If you're screaming "Horses, your hair isn't particularly original!" then i applaud your observational skills, but slap you for screaming at me! My hair falls into that category of "normal". I like to think my other bits make me less "normal". Don't judge a horse by its hair!

My hair is normal, but i think its nice. The folks who made it did a good job! So good I went back to their store today and bought myself some new colours. I like the idea of changing hair colour all the time. My shades of brown now have shades of red to alternate with.

During my daily jog around second life :) I took some photos of my shiny red hair.





I quite like it, so i don't care what anyone else thinks! Also note the lip ring to help my head look less "normal".
Red hair, lip-ring and lycra leotard! I am at the very HEIGHT of fashion :)

A funky charity evening

SL is fab for a lot of things, one is there's always a discotheque open where you can go for a boogie. Just like many other folk in SL, I love to boogie!

On Saturday a disco i've been to a few times - and thus a member of their group - was holding a fund raising night for charity. The charity in question was Warchild. It needs all our money to help kids in war.

This was no Children in Need fund raising marathon. This was lots of weird and wonderful people, dancing the night away to an array of (s)hits, spun by a disc jockey who'd given his own time for free and couldn't enjoy the fun as much as everyone else, although maybe dj-ing was lots of fun for him.

If i'm honest i expected the total donations to be quite low, somewhere around 10,000$L at the end of the night. How wrong was I!!!! When i left - and there were a few hours left to go - the total was at 33,000$L! People can be so generous, even in SL! Just imagine how long you'd have to camp to earn that amount of cash!!! I'm not sure of the final total, but i'm guessing it'd gone up a fair bit by the close!

Maybe charities need to use SL more. They were pushing for a target of L$40,000. If we assume they got it, that's just over $150? It's an impressive total when you consider the cost of hosting the night (very little) and any costs incurred by the venue would probably be offset by the improved traffic rank they'll get, and people who'd never been there before, liking the place and coming back in the future.

I took a few photos on the night, of course i'm in them all :p Click on them below to see a bigger version.



Saturday, 12 January 2008

The paparazzi are ruining their lives!

The Paparazzi just won't leave celebrities alone! It must be awful being followed everywhere by a man with a camera. Its not like some of these celebs' make a shed loads of money!

They're just doing a regular causal topless jet-skiing lesson or walking out of a nightclub smacked off their face, when some celebrity snapper has his flasher in their face or they're lurking in the trees, just aiming up the perfect boob shot.

It must be so hard, after courting the media for so long for their own benefit, to have the same media poke their nose in when the celebs' want some peace. Seriously, I feel sorry for the z-listers!

...NAWWT! Stupid idiots need to wear swimsuits, stop smacking up and not flirt the media in the first place. They're not all guilty, but seriously, those that are... Stop whining!

Hmmm, what's this?
...
...
...
...
...
WHORE-SES GOES SKIING


Darn that Press! Where do they get off intruding our privacy like this!!!

Famous Horses

Here's a list of famous horses:

Black Beauty
Red Rum
Mr Ed
White Lightening
Pantomime Horse
Clothes Horse
Camilla Parker Bowles

Do you know of any more?

Welcome to my box

Hello All!
I decided to make a blog for my second life self. I find myself wanting to talk about my experiences on SL all the time but i'm not too great at explaining things when i'm dying to say something. So, i decided that i'd make a blog and talk there.

Welcome to that blog - The Horses' Box! The title is a little tongue-in-cheek, but it was too good to resist :p

My posts won't always make sense, but I don't apologise for that, it's just what comes out!

Thanks for reading,

Horses

P.S. "Hello World!"